…but at least he’ll finish it.

Those of you who’ve seen me “running” around town lately have probably debated whether my pace can actually be classified as running. Dancing, maybe ’cause I move my arms to the music on my ipod like I’m auditioning to be a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader. Or singing…yup, I do that, too (and occasionally get a mouthful of bugs as a thank you from the universe.) But running? What with all the singing and dancing, how do I have time?

I do have an excuse for this public display of insanity, believe it or not. The weather next week for the marathon I’m running is supposed to be hot and muggy, two things that Carmel definitely ISN’T. So I’m training myself to adjust my pace so I can slow down my perspiration/dehydration and calm my old-man’s-heart-rate to compensate.

I’m running “Leg 3″ of my “run-around-the-world.” Leg 1 was Asia (the Great Wall Marathon), Leg 2 was North America (New York Marathon, etc.) and next week I’ll be in South America for the marathon in Rio.

In the past I actually have avoided “training” like the plague. (In words I’ve taken to heart, after my disastrous time in the San Jose Marathon, my friend, Joe tried to buck me up by pointing out, “You don’t train for marathons, you prepare.”)

He was right. This whole ’round-the-world idea came about last year during the Big Sur Marathon when I rounded a corner and realized I was only at Rocky Point. I’d been feeling good, running fast and not really feeling it until I saw that dang restaurant and realized I still had 10 miles to go. Boom…instant tired. (My longest practice runs up to that point had only been 15 miles.)

During those long, long, miles to the finish I decided to come up with a different goal…one that didn’t involve getting faster with every run. I’d seen a flier advertising a marathon on Antarctica…a place I’ve always wanted to go…and then and there decided to do a marathon on every continent. A lazier goal, I know, from an athletic perspective, but a cooler goal for those of us who don’t actually consider ourselves athletes (real marathoners call people like me “jolly joggers.)

So Antarctica is scheduled for March ‘08 and in the meantime I’m going to knock S. America and Australia from the list. Training for the different kind of weather and surfaces and altitudes has been odd, though. Or at least makes me look odd (as I pointed out in the beginning of this post). For Rio I’ve been training with a water belt (literally a fanny-pack that’s filled with water that you suck water from through a long straw) and for Antarctica I’ve been training wearing layers of clothes and running tights.

“I feel pretty, oh so pretty…”
Tights, headband, gloves…I’m not a runner, I’m a Solid Gold Dancer

So last week I combined the two and did a 1/2 marathon up in Aptos wearing tons of clothes and the water-belt. It was miserable. And not just for me, for the people BEHIND me at one point. About 9 miles in, the water-belt was driving me crazy - it seemed so uncomfortable. So I reached back to adjust it and realized it was fine. What was making me uncomfortable were the two layers of pants I was wearing that were pulled down around my - ahem- buttocks. Luckily layer three was still up and I’d caught it in time. I have personal experience of the freak-show of following a running plumber.

When I ran the New York Marathon, the shorts of a guy in front of me were drenched with sweat and the weight was pulling them WAY down. He was running the streets of New York doing a full-on moon. It was mile 19 and I kept thinking, “Man, one of us has to speed up or slow down ’cause I can’t take another hour of looking at THAT.” I was too tired to speed up, so….

Like I said, I’m “Slow and Steady.” And pretty…oh so pretty.