2008 has been one of those years that makes me think (oddly and obscurely, I know) of Queen Elizabeth’s phrase, “Annis Horribilis,” in reference to 1997.  That was the year P. Diana died, but my memory is that, despite being her mother-in-law (or maybe because she was her mother-in-law), Q.E.II was REALLY referring to the fire at Windsor Castle.  (Family troubles…we all got ‘em.)

And that’s the way I think of 2008.  Annis Horribilis.  And nobody famous had to die.

It was just one of those crappy years.  Glad it’s over and may it never be “brought to mind.”

Sing along to the demise of the despised…or just sing along. Yee Ha!

See y’all in 2009!  And baby ya betcha’ I‘m lookin’ forward to the fresh start.

For me growing up in the 60’s and 70’s, the claymation “Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer,” “A Charlie Brown Christmas” and the cartoon version of “The Grinch Who Stole Christmas” were the touchstones that defined the season.  And having parents who grew up in the 40’s and 50’s, those “must-sees” where augmented with the must-hears of “Sing along with Mitch” and Bing Crosby’s album, “White Christmas.”

And those are things that can still put me in a Christmas mood.  (That and my grandmother’s white feather wreath which I used to think was ugly and now that it’s mine…and actually IS ugly and bedraggled and somehow still shedding feathers 50 years after it was purchased…looks kinda purdy to me.  And Christmasy.)

Anyway, because I’d grown up listening to the music my mom would play throughout the season, when my friend Desma asked me to sing Mele Kalikimaka at the concert the Choral Society is putting on tonight at the Carmel Mission, I assumed everyone would know what the HECK I was doing dolled up in a santa hat and a holly bow-tie, crooning away.

I assumed wrong.

click here to listen to Bing Crosby and the Andrews Sisters singing Mele Kalikimaka

Still, I’m having a good time doing it, even if half the audience is probably at a loss for what’s going on.  The “Andrew’s Sisters” are all decked out in hula skirts and to ensure our humiliation, we all do a hula together during the instrumental break.  (Desma said to me last night that she doesn’t want it to get too campy and I thought, “Too late!”)

Don’t ya wish you were there?

Like most groups in small towns, the Choral Society does community outreach in addition to actual concerts so I performed Mele Kalikimaka for the first time on Thursday at a retirement facility in Monterey.  And it’s funny what becomes a memory…sometimes it’s NOT what you think it will be.

For me, the memory of the song at that performance will not be the actual singing of it, but rather me trying to figure out how to get to the back of the room for my quick-change when the aisles were blocked with walkers and wheelchairs.

Now, my grandmother always said I shouldn’t make fun of old people ’cause one day, if I’m lucky, I’ll be there too.

HOWEVER…

…this morning I had a performance with my jazz group, Junction68, over in a retirement village in Salinas that topped the walker-filled room in Monterey.  These people were quite nice, and most of the one’s who stayed awake through it SEEMED to enjoy it.  (Or maybe it was the medication the nurses kept passing out to the residents while we were singing that they enjoyed.)  Some of  them were into the music enough to sing along with us, or at least applaud at appropriate times, but one old guy in the front row was there with his wife and, boy, he was hungry.

How do I know that?  ‘Cause he kept saying it loudly to his wife after we’d finish a song.  And before we’d start the next one, he’d say, “Oh for God’s sake!” and look at his watch.

Man, I keep laughing every time I think of it…that old guy made my day.  The things I get myself into.

I know where I was…Beau and I were opening our first store over in Pacific Grove in honor of what would have been our step-mother’s birthday if she’d lived to see the day. Claude was one of the few people in our lives who believed in us and she was always true to her word (though sometimes those words could be blunt).

Sidebar: I’ll never forget her retort to a question she asked of me once when were on our way to a family vacation on Lake Powell. She said, “What would you do if you could do anything?” And I said “I’d open a store.”

And she said, “Retail? You’ll never make a dime in retail!”

(I won’t write what I thought about that particular comment ’cause it’s her birthday.)

But Claude’s (unfortunately true) observation about retail didn’t stop her from putting her money down and betting we’d do what we said we would and build her a viable building out of the dump of a condemned laundry she owned called The Grove.

And for that I thank her. The store is long-gone, but Happy Birthday Claude Levy (and a shout out to my step-brothers Jimmy, Eric and Philip ’cause I know they’re thinking about their mom today…they’re in New York at Claude’s twin brother, John’s, birthday party.)

To which I will add: Happy Birthday John Shalam! And Happy Birthday Grove Homescapes!

It only LOOKS brown.

Every year since Day 1 we’ve built a Christmas Tree for the store using the collective imaginations of talented people like Edward Chiorazzi and the late, great Michael Weidner.  And basically…expense be damned!

But 2008 is not a good year for “expense be damned!”

So this year, Edward pointed out some old twig decorations we had in the basement of the warehouse, I found an unsold twig table base in the basement at the store and with the addition of leaves that blew off the tree across the street, some pine cones we had lying around and an old flower arrangement that had dried up nicely…VOILA!  “Green”est tree ever considering the mantra of that movement:

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle.

I love that we “reduced” expenditures and the decorations around the store didn’t actually COST anything this year.  And out front, instead of buying a wreath and taking down Edward’s art installation, he added Reynolds Wrapped bows and basically turned “What’s Cooking” into “What’s Cooking for Christmas.”

Ain’t he clever?  (And ain’t I cheap!)  Merry Christmas!

At that point I hadn’t seen it yet so I didn’t know if the article made me look good or bad…but my clue should’a been how he asked me.  His question?  “Was that an ad or an interview?”

Now that I’ve read it, I’ve figured out what should be read at my eulogy one day…’cause whoever THAT guy is, he sounds GREAT.  Doesn’t sound pissy, or cranky, or manic depressive, or obsessive-compulsive.

(Well, maybe he does sound obsessive-compulsive.)

People who know me, know that all my faults have been politely overlooked and unmentioned in the article.  (Even I’M smart enough not to show the worst sides of my personality to an interviewer.) It’s really well-written and flattering and gee it’s nice to be described the way that guy was described.  Now I have something to aspire to.

I want to be THAT guy.

In the description field when I was uploading the above logo I typed in the following:

“Thompson Lange runs step #2 in his ridiculously boneheaded quest to build his mileage for the Comrades Ultramarathon 56 mile run in 2009.”

And now there really isn’t much more to say ’cause that pretty much sums it up.  I finished today’s run about an hour and a half ago and now I’m just sitting around waiting for my ride.  I’m sitting on a kinda cold cement wall, which oddly seems to be very soothing on the ol’ muscles…even though this run was 31.5 miles, I’m less tired and sore than I was last week after running the Big Sur Half Marathon down in Monterey.

Of course, I don’t know if real runners would even say what I just did was “running.”  I kinda figured out that by leaning WAY forward I could do an odd shuffle that was less tiring than running OR walking.

The set-up for this particular run was interesting though.  They were offering an Ultra, a Marathon, an Ultra-relay, a Marathon-relay, a Half Marathon and a 20-mile Training run…all on a public trail that ran from north of Folsom to downtown Sacramento.

So basically, at no time did I ever know what distance anyone around me was aiming for…or even if they were running in the race.  Which meant I didn’t have to give a rat’s ass what distance anyone around me was aiming for and I could just concentrate on pacing myself and running MY OWN race. (And entertaining myself with my inner dialogue as they didn’t allow ipods.)

Yikes!

The run went well though like I said, I’m not tired.  BUT… it’s sad that I only bettered my time from September’s 50k by 49 minutes.  That might seem like a lot of time to shave, but click here to read why it’s kinda pathetic.  Considering there were no wasps or injuries this time, I shoulda done better.

But hey…I DID learn to shuffle and managed to run every stinkin’ mile of this thing.  So MAYBE 50 miles is doable.

We’ll see in January when I attempt that distance on Catalina Island as a pre-qualifier before spending all that money to go to South Africa with the possibility of failure.

Man, the things mid-life crisis’ make ya do.

Still, I’ve been busy playing cheerleader as much as possible. When the 20th Taste of Carmel went for a “Roaring 20’s” theme and asked for costumes, I came dressed in a rather appropriate outfit for 1929 (and sadly, 2008), and luckily people laughed.

And when we had the annual Halloween parade on Saturday? I proved the depths to which I will sink to get a smile out of a crowd. I call the costume “semi” formal.

If the Chamber wanted someone with an ounce of dignity, they sure picked the wrong guy.

]]> http://www.thearmchairtraveler.net/2008/10/28/fools-rush-in/feed/ http://www.thearmchairtraveler.net/2008/10/06/and-now-we-are-9/ http://www.thearmchairtraveler.net/2008/10/06/and-now-we-are-9/#comments Mon, 06 Oct 2008 22:23:41 +0000 tlange http://www.thearmchairtraveler.net/?p=226

Friday was the big day of Homescapes’ annual birthday bash and I’m happy to say, “Thank God THAT’S over!”  That’s probably too big a statement what with the blasphemy and the capitalized letters and all, but man, those parties are MURDER!  (There I go again with the caps…somebody stop me).

The big drama this time was all because of procrastination.  There has been a crackdown lately in Carmel on businesses and galleries that serve wine to the public without a liquor permit.  In the past I’ve used a caterer with a liquor license so I hadn’t really given this party much thought.  Nor have I been paying attention to the aforementioned caterer’s business, as I hadn’t realized they’d retired.

By the time I found out that VERY IMPORTANT turn of events and started looking around for a new caterer with the right kind of licensing, I was so out of time that I didn’t actually find anyone who could make the party legal until after 1 p.m. on Friday…the day of that same-said party.  The party that had been in Wednesdays Weekly as a Hot Pick in part because we serve free wine.

Now, I kinda hope the people who come to our Open Houses actually like us, but I wasn’t born yesterday so the reality is that there are those in our midst who are just coming for the free grub, music and booze.  (Not YOU of course, Gentle Reader…you are golden and well-loved).

But those Others…minus the booze at a Homescapes party we were no-doubt in for a full on mob-with-torches scene.

Luckily that was averted when Tarpy’s Roadhouse and Ventana Vineyards took pity on me and did me the favor of sending over staff and wine after my last minute calls all over the Peninsula had failed.  If I hadn’t gone to the Taste of Carmel event on Thursday night and told them my tale of woe, thus getting in touch with all the right people who could make things happen on the turn of a dime, I’d more than likely be hanging from the beams in front of my store as a warning to all merchants who make Carmelites spend an evening sober.

Phew.

Way, WAY back in the day when I was young and living in Los Angeles, I…like many of my fellow Los Angelenos… embarrassed myself on more than a few TV shows, Game Shows and commercials.  (I won’t say I can’t act, but you’ve seen the commercials I’ve done for Homescapes Carmel so YOU can say it.)

One of the worst and most mortifying was in 1985 when I was hired to do a walk-on in an episode of the ’80’s show “Benson” called “Katie’s Cousin.” The jist of the story was that the characters Missy Gold and her sister Tracey Gold were playing were pretending to be college girls so they could go out on a double-date with some college guys.  The scripted “comedy” in it was that the girls were only 15 and 16 and they were pretending to be older on the date.  The life “comedy” for me, as one of the guys they were dating, was that I was actually 24.

Sheesh.  I kept trying not to be embarrassed about the whole age-inappropriate thing…telling myself that they wouldn’t have hired me if I LOOKED like I should be prosecuted for Lolita-like, geezerish lechery, but then Robert Guillaume, the guy who played Benson, came up to me, raised one eyebrow and asked me a question regarding my character’s “name” in the script.  See, my character didn’t actually have one…just a description in the notes.  So it was more than a bit mortifying when he looked me up and down and said, “YOU’RE the Cutest Guy in College?”

Lawd…it really was horrible and traumatic and, still suffering from post traumatic stress, I hadn’t really thought about it in years until the other day.  See, 20 years after moving from L.A., the TV union AFTRA finally tracked me down to tell me they owed me a check for unclaimed residuals for that oh-so-memorable/vaguely disturbing performance.

For $15.85.

And that, folks, is WAY more than my acting is worth.

But I WILL tell you that when I think back on the whole career-stunting experience there was ONE thing about it that was really sweet (and even then I thought so).  Despite the fact that both Missy and Tracey were working steadily in TV and movies at the time, they were still young girls and there was a very cute nervousness in their demeanor with me and the other guy in the scene because they were playing our dates and we were CLEARLY older than them. (And I can say “CLEARLY older” for the other guy too ’cause we’d gone to UCLA together and we BOTH were weirded out by the almost-decade disparity in the ages between us and the girls.)

Sigh.  Good times.  One day I’ll post my other “claims to fame.”  (Some of them, though, actually amuse me rather than mortify me…every time I see my “big moment” in the movie “Moonstruck” I laugh at the memory of the insider prank we played at 4 in the morning during the Opera house scene (that actually made it into the movie) and go into a whole well-worn tale of my night breathing the same air as Cher.)

And as for Game Shows…won two cars plus plus on “Classic Concentration” even though Alex Trebek really, REALLY didn’t like me.

(See…ya thought ya knew me.  Still-water’s run deep as they say.)

And as for the “Benson” thing?  In this economy….gotta tell ya, happy to get the $15.85.

Last year at this time, Homescapes was asked to do a “library”-esque stage setting as a backdrop for the inaugural Carmel Authors and Ideas Festival at our local cultural center, Sunset Center.

Being the community-minded fellas that we are, Beau and I pulled a bunch of furniture and accessories from the store, loaded up the truck and did our best to help set the stage (bu-dump-bump) for the feel the organizers wanted to evoke.

This year we did it a little differently.  We still wanted to be community-minded and we still wanted to provide the feeling of a home library on the stage…after all, Sandra Day O’Conner, Khaled Hosseini and Michael Pollen were going to be standing in front of our stuff and we didn’t want to embarrass ourselves or Carmel through inattention to detail.  BUT the difference this time around was that we didn’t want to pull everything out of the store to do it.  We gotta make a livin’ here, folks, and we’d rather have stuff for sale in the store than sitting pretty on a stage down the street through a weekend.

So this year I pulled just about everything I used for the set from my house.  Sure, it’s stuff that feels like Homescapes ’cause I BUY for Homescapes.  So THAT’S on purpose.  But it’s not stuff you’ll find in the store (at least anymore ’cause I don’t want to feel like I like live in available merchandise ** ) and if you don’t like it when you see it on the stage of Sunset Center, you probably won’t like it when you’re over at my house for dinner.

Just warnin’ ya.

** Sidebar:  I learned my lesson the hard way about having “available” product in my home.  I was in China and found a grain basket that would make the perfect, perfect coffee table for my house.  There were only two available and I thought, “heck, if I like it, someone else will too” so I bought them both.  Then the one in the store sold and while it was still on the floor waiting to be picked up by its new owner another couple came in and begged me to see if they could contact the buyer to buy from them this ONE THING of all the stuff in the store.  No lie.  And foot-in-mouth-me said, “I know, I KNOW, I love it too so I can see why you want it.  I’d never seen anything like this before in all my trips to China and there were only two.  I loved it so much I bought the other one for myself.”

Beat, beat.  Dead silence.  Long look.

Long story short, they shamed me into selling MY coffee table to them.  And I’ve mourned it ever since.